Saturday, December 29, 2007

Searching

Thanks Christine, I tried to add a comment thinking I was adding apost, so I hope I'm not repeating myself.
I'm having one of those unsettling 'searching' days. Looking for something to keep me busy I guess, trying to find a way to have Alexandra remembered, but not sure what to do. My DH is always keeping busy with house projects, but I'm not there - i just don't care right now.
My DH & I are ging to take our son out bowling today inorder to get out of the house. Should be interesting to see as he is only 2-1/2 yrs. old.
Did you ever ask Lucy to visit you, show you a sign? I'm sad that I've had no sign from Alexandra. Not sure what the sign would be - It's not like I'll hear her cry or voice as I never got to hear it once.
I keep getting those horrible flashbacks when we were in the hospital and everyone was looking for the heartbeat, had the ultrasound out........I'm sorry........you know the words. It's almost like I try to pretend I'm still pregnant & it never really happened and then thse damn flashbacks knock me upside the head.

2 comments:

Olive Lucy said...

michelley- you are doing pretty dang good considering all that you have gone through this last week. i talk to lucy all the time. sometimes in my head some times out loud. I also try meditation it helps me to focus on something specific. like her nose or her mouth. things like that so i can really see them clearly. if you can try it might help. I am going to post books 1.0 maybe some of them will help.

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