Monday, March 31, 2008

Little Peanut?!?!

Alexandra,
I have been crying so much lately and even as I sit here now and type it is through tears.
I was wondering why you haven't been to visit me in my dreams and I haven't had a sign from you in awhile - I miss you soooo much!! So now I think it is because you were finding us our next little peanut! How wonderful! I know that is is still really early days, but I know it is a blessing. Thank you so much.
You will always be my little angel, my daughter, my peanut. Nothing will ever make me love you less, not think about you as much or fill the little baby girl sized hole in my heart.
Please watch over us and stay close my love.
I love & miss you every day!
Mommy! xoxoxo

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Missing you & holidays

My Sweet Baby Girl,
I can't tell you how much I miss you and wish you were here. To celebrate St. patrick's Day or Easter without you............I got you little holiday things but just wish that you were here to play with them. I cry for you all the time and feel so weak, broken, sad. I hope you can't feel any of this sadness as it is for me to carry. I would do anything for you. You are my daughter. God I miss you!
I sent you up your Easter Balloons with little chickies and I also sent up your Angel friends their balloons. I hope you are all playing with them. Now I send up the precious little Angel babies their balloons on the day they arrived on earth. Mayda who I met on BBC thread gave me the great idea. I love watching the balloons float up to heaven!
So my little peanut - I love you and miss you everyday! Know that, feel that, and come visit me, I miss you!

Love, Mommy!

St.Patty's Day

Easter

Monday, March 10, 2008

What Can I Do?

My sweet little Alexandra,

Please forgive me, I have been feeling unsettled more than usual lately. Some ladies I have met recently have posted some beautiful slide shows, websites, etc. to remember and share their precious little angels. It has really made me want to do the same for you, but I am so poor at computer stuff that I am scared to because I don't want to mess it up. I come on here and post my thoughts, then I print them out and place them in your little memory box. I really hope I can make you proud by being able to make a pretty slide show or something. I have no website for you or for people to leave messages for you and I feel bad for that. I think I'm really go to try but be patient with me as I really have no clue how to even start a website!! : )

I miss you so much and have been talking to you lots, I hope you are listening. The 15th is approaching and I can feel myself getting uptight. 15 used to be my favourite #, now I will never think of it the same. I dread it. I wish I could rip that day out of my memory and replace it with a different outcome - where you come home with me, you have your brother, me & Daddy fussing over you. You would be with us on this earth, so I could hug & kiss you everyday. It's not the same kissing an urn........ I still do every night. I know you are in heaven but I like to think that you are close by watching us and knowing just how much you are missed.
So even through I haven't figured out with website thing, know that I am thinking of you every minute, every day!!
I love and miss you more than my heart can take!
Love Mommy
xoxoxo

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Had a visitor today

My Dear Alexandra,
You really are listening aren't you! Sorry I've been having such a rough go at it the last few days, I just miss you so much and my arms feel so empty without you.
Today I had a little visitor - the owl. Since talking with some of the wonderful ladies I have met on the BBC threads, the mention of the owl has come up a few times. So I'm not sure if this owl is you, Lucy or Little Hawk sending a sign. All I know is that it has me thinking of you precious little angels, and how all of us Mommies miss you so much. We think about each of you all the time, and I think of all the Mommies who I have become close to since you have been gone.

So Peanut, Lucy, Little Hawk, Jack, Carter, Aubrey, Ava, Hannah, Gabrielle, Brooke, Aaliyah, Nathaniel, Sophia, Devin, Caleb, Gabriel, Braylyn, Carter, Norah, Macayla, Lucas, Nathan, Tristan, Kayden, Joshua, Caden, McKenna, Sophie, Mackenzie, October & all the little angels that I have grown to know & love - stay peaceful & know that we love you & miss you!

Love Mommy! xoxox

Owl5